A couple weeks ago, I posted a poll and asked followers what I thought was a simple question. I wanted a better look at the “emotionscape” of the homeowners we serve, and overall homeowners in our area.
The question was simple:
Here were the results:
- Pride: 0%
- Comfort: 25%
- Personality: 0%
- Stress: 75%
When the results came in, I admit it…I was FLOORED. Stress?! I expected some of that, for sure, but three of four respondents?! I was expecting at least a little pride, too…
My very first reaction was to ask those same people, “OK, yes, homeownership can be stressful…but if that’s the feeling you MOST associate with homeownership, then why are you homeowners at all?”
…And that’s what I did. I posted a second survey to ask that question. My exact wording was: What benefit do you associate most with being a homeowner?
The results?
- Financial asset: 0%
- Personal comforts: 28%
- Privacy/security: 42%
- Autonomy: 28%
Now I was REALLY curious. When I asked about the feeling of homeownership, people went straight to stress. But when I asked the benefits people associated with homeownership, suddenly they remembered the EMOTIONAL payout…no “financial asset” talk at all.
My hypothesis
My first question was emotional. It triggered an instant response. The second question, though, required at least a moment’s reflection. It required the person responding to look for his or her justification for homeownership which, as we had already established, is stressful!!
And that’s a fair response! The mortgage, the maintenance, the insurance, the property taxes, the repairs…and yes, the remodels (investment, dust, disruption…). Owning a house comes with responsibilities and continuous investment.
In my mind, that’s why we NEED to know why we’re doing it at all. Privacy, security, comfort, autonomy…what else comes to mind? Personalization. Lifestyle!
What else can we add? You tell me…
For some of us, it’s as simple as, “I want a place that’s mine.”
What the “why” ISN’T
Here’s where I want to point something out that’s CENTRAL to our “why.”
I didgive people the option to respond that the financial asset/ROI was the primary benefit they get from homeownership. But NO ONE selected that.
So why, why, WHY do people think instantly of ROI when they start planning a remodel?!
If that’s NOT your motivation to have a home…to undergo all that stress…then WHY should it override your real motivations?
If you want to have the power to decide what happens in your space, if you want to feel safe, if you want to prioritize comfort or make each space work for YOU, then that’s what should drive your remodels.
Want your “why” to get clearer?
I can think of two ways for you to look at this:
- Imagine your house could NEVER increase in value again. In that case, what would you want to still want to change about it? Resale is officially out of the question…
- Assume you’re going to live in this house for the next 20 years. In that case, what would you do during your next remodel?
Your answers can be looked at individually, or collectively.
For example, if you find that you would change a lot of things that would simply work better for your hobbies or day-to-day, then customization and lifestyle are probably big motivators for you.
Final thoughts: We value home more than homeownership
I think we spend waaaay too much time confusing these two things. Homeownership is the transaction, whereas home is only, ONLY what we make it. Cliché, but true.
After these two recent polls, I can see it clearly now: I don’t think most of y’all are in this because the idea of being a “homeowner” sounded like a great time. I believe you’re in this because you wanted to make a home.
And if that’s true, then maybe we need another way of thinking about what we put into our homes, especially at the time of a big investment like a renovation.
THAT’S why I talk about Return on Enjoyment®. Instead of asking what you’ll “get back” when you sell, ask what you can get back from your home while you’re living there.
Share your thoughts with me here in the comments, or directly on a complementary consultation call. What you make of this is entirely up to you!!
About the author:
Robin Burrill, RID, NCIDQ, ASID, IDS, CAPS, is an award-winning professional kitchen, bath, and interior designer. Robin and her husband, Robert Mathews, have owned Signature Home Services, Inc. for over three decades, establishing a superior in-house team with a widespread reputation for delivering meticulous design to their many repeat clients.
In 2022, the national publication, Kitchen and Bath Design News magazine, named Robin to their Top Innovator list in recognition of her achievements in the field of kitchen and bath design. In 2024, she was named one of the Fall 2024 Market Pros and “tastemakers” by ANDMORE at High Point Market. In 2024 and again in 2025, Fixr identified her as one of the Top Professional Interior Designers for their nationwide audience. At the start of 2025, she then acted as one of Dallas Market’s “Style Eyes” at Lightovation and Total Home & Gift Market.
Over her extensive career, Robin has been quoted in Architectural Digest and Forbes multiple times; her design work has been featured in top national trade publications; and she has been interviewed for Designers Today magazine’s “Profiles in Design” video series, among others. Widely respected for the depth of her knowledge, Robin is a sought after speaker and judge for many design industry events.
In 2023, Robin designed a bench for Charleston Forge, making her foray into product design. Robin currently serves as a volunteer on the board of the Dallas/Ft. Worth chapter of the Interior Design Society.
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